This is my first posting this year - I want to keep this project of mine alive as long as possible. After the last one, I haven't felt that anything would quite match up to the content..but really,and it's been hard to find something I want to put here.
I've re-entered the vortex of work,where it always feels like I never stepped out onto the platform of free time. And the feeling I have is an unfamiliar one..it's one that seems to visit every four years or so. Inquietude,as the French would call it. This deep rumble from my gut that ( for once! ) has nothing to do with wanting food, but change. Routine is,and always has been, my saving grace and worst enemy. Without it, I float aimlessly through the hours, trying to convince myself that it's ok to do nothing, while my guilt raps annoyingly on my conscience telling me that I really ought to be doing something. Go for a walk, go to the gym, study something,visit somewhere new, take in some culture. But I have learnt to lie still enough for long enough and...it passes. Only to pop in again a while later. It's really rather tiring!
But while I'm in it, in that boxed little schedule that is my day,over and over again, I start to dream of days of nothing,and seem to think up hundreds of fascinating things to do to fill my time. Ooh, a make-up course! Get a personal trainer at the gym,every day and get fit! Go shopping at the market and make perfect meals! Sign up for a course and study something new and interesting,just for fun and mental jigging!
And then it's time to live the reality again and all my inspiration fizzles away into a little ball of resentment in the back of my mind. And I ask myself, "Why don't you just DO it?" And the teeny voice back there says, " Cos there's WORK to be done! "
Anyone got a word of advice for an Aries that seems to be butting her own a** with her very own horns??
